When I was younger, love meant something you said to a person, and they said it back. You were in love when you told other people that you loved that person. Some where along the way, I learned that being in love, you didn't say it and hear it, you feet it. I've grown in the ways that I love, and who I love.

I've told 5 boyfriends that I loved them, I truly meant it 3 times. Until recently though, I hadn't felt it. I didn't know what true love was, until I met Jimbo. More on that later though. Everyone has been burned by love at least once in their life, and if they were smart they learned from it.

The first time I thought I loved someone was Cody. I fell in love with a married man at 19 years old, granted he was only 22, and in the process of divorcing. Looking back, I was a fool. I don't know if he ever truly loved me, but I do know at least he cared for me. I saw him as a way out of a relationship I wasn't happy with. I didn't care about the marriage, or the divorce, I just saw an out. Things didn't work out obviously. I was young, and he didn't know what he wanted, but I learned alot from him. We were only together for 3 months.

Second time I truly thought I loved someone, I fell for Chris, a guy who was basically part of the same group of people from the ones above. The same circle that kept bringing me down. I thought I loved Chris just because we were together for so long. We had nothing in common, fought constantly, and we never really recovered from alot of things. When it was finally over, I was devistated.

Shortly after that I headed down a path I don't really regret, but I do realize that I made some questionable choices. I made mistakes, and did some things that I could have just not done. This is one of those times when you lose your head, and instead of fighting with it, you just kinda go with it.

I feel in my heart that the man I'm with now, Jimbo, is the best for me. He's everything I've wanted in a person. Our life together, as simple as it is, is perfect. I've seen things happen within myself, that are becoming better, because of him. I believe there can be magic in a relationship because of what he's shown me.

Jimbo has taught me alot of things. He's taught me to be happy with myself. He's helped me not be afraid to ask for the things I want. I've learned to let minor annoyances to just leave me, and not hold on to little things that annoy me.

Each day that we are together I love him more. He suprises me all the time with his thoughtfulness, and love for me. I know he loves me as much as I love him. We don't have to make things work, they just do. We work hard everyday to do the right thing, and to be happy.

With all the things going on in my life, the stress, the money, the job, whatever. I can go home at the end of the day and just wash all that away because I'm home with him. A hug and a kiss from him makes almost anything better. Every day that goes by I can see further into our future together, and know that as long as I have him I can face anything.

While looking into the future, I've learned to keep myself rooted into the present. With the experiences I've had, I've learned not to ignore what's going on now, hoping that in the future it'll be fixed. Problems that are addressed quickly, get solved quickly. It was hard at first not to say anything while I'm too emotional. By calming down, I've figured that by the time I calm down, most things don't bother me anymore. If it still bothers me, well it gives me time to say something in an intelligent manner, and not just the first mean spirited response comes to mind. It allows me to think about what I say well before I say it.

Doing a lot of these little things, and learning from each kind of love, and relationship, I've helped lay a great foundation for a real, loving relationship. This time around the plan is to learn while things are going on, not after the fact.

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